Beautifully painful.

There’s something so beautiful about this drawing. Yet also something so beautifully sad. It captures us just perfectly. It says more than words ever could. I can’t seem to find sentences …. simply words. mother son love joy selfless pure bond innocent deep strong pain loss poignant sadness treasured An image can be so powerful.… Continue reading Beautifully painful.


Recharged ….

Life now seems to be divided into – ‘before Elijah’ and ‘after Elijah’. I find myself placing the time of events in relation to whether that happened, before Elijah was here, or after. When I describe changes that I notice in myself, it seems I use terms like, ‘Before Elijah, I would have been much… Continue reading Recharged ….


A wave

A wave has come over me. Just right now. Out of nowhere. And it has me sucked right under. I didn’t see it coming. There was no build up to it. No warning. But it just knocked the legs clean from underneath me. And I’m drowning.  Totally drowning. So I’m writing. I have no direction… Continue reading A wave


I will be fierce ….. maybe!!

So. Another year is over and a new one begins. I say that with a sigh and a tear and just a hint of joy if I’m completely honest.  1st January 2017 nearly killed me, and well, 1st January 2018 has only been slightly less painful. Whilst a new year can and does fill  me… Continue reading I will be fierce ….. maybe!!

Family life · Uncategorized

It’s been a year …..

It’s been one whole year since I held you in my arms. One whole year since I kissed those chubby cheeks, blew raspberries on those double chins, rubbed that little soft fur head and held that tiny hand. One whole year. In many ways it’s hard to believe that it has been a year already,… Continue reading It’s been a year …..

Family life · Uncategorized

We will ‘keep on living’.

One phrase that has bothered me a lot over the past year is the one – ‘moving on’. Now, no one has ever said it to me …. yet. I guess though we are only 10 months down this road of grief. But still, it bothers me. I dread the thought of someone ever saying… Continue reading We will ‘keep on living’.

Daily Routine · Family life · Uncategorized

The end of a chapter …..

So. Tomorrow I am returning to work. I will no longer have the title of a Stay at Home Mum. Yes, I will still be able to do the morning drop off and pick my kiddies up from school but I will no longer be a Stay at Home Mum. And I can’t quite believe… Continue reading The end of a chapter …..