It’s Sunday afternoon, the kids are napping, hubster is chilling out on the playstation and I’m wasting a few minutes online with a cuppa.
For a while now I’ve been thinking about this, praying about this, chatting about it with family, friends and now I’m going to blog about it!! What is it? – “Being ‘just’ a stay at home mum”. Quite often when asked, “So, what do you do?” or “Are you back to work?” I feel the need to offer my answer in an apologetic way. I feel embarrassed at times. Lazy at times. When I answer, “Oh I’m at home with the kids” or “No, I resigned when I had J” I am often hit with, “Oooooh you’re so lucky, I’d love to be able to do that” or, “Oh it’s well for some”. And yeah I feel embarrassed. We are not rolling in it….yeah we’re in a position to be able to manage on one income, but that has come with a lot of sacrifices and a lot of hard choices.
I have just read this…..”Our culture tells women to find value, identity, usefulness and reward in career and having money. It says that we are wasting our gifts and our lives by applying them primarily to family life.” It tells us we NEED money to be happy, to survive, to live in this world. “The bible says that when we lay down worldly ambition to serve our family, we are surrendering our lives in a very tangible way to follow Christ and display his humility (Phil 2), we are working for the eternal reward which Christ has for us (Col 3:24)” You can read more here.
And now I’m curious about what other people think?!?! Do you believe this to be true? Does our culture force us to go out and work and have a career or do we place that ‘burden’ on ourselves?
I am a mummy to 3 kids and I ‘stay at home’…..I am a ‘homemaker’……why?
1. I believe that it is what God wants for me. My husband felt that was what God was telling him too.
2. I have visited Uganda many times and each time made a promise to myself and to the wonderful people who I met there, that I would go home changed. That I would go home and live simply. Managing a 5 person house on 1 income means that I can honour my promise a little easier.
3. I didn’t want to miss out on ANYTHING with my kids. I WANT to be at home with them. I want to be at home for them. I want to be the one who is ‘bringing them up’. I know…..I’m pretty selfish.
4. My Mum stayed at home with us – I LOVED it. I look back on that and am so thankful that she did.
5. I believe that it is the best thing for my kids and their all round development….spiritual, emotional, behavioural etc…
Now, there are days IT IS TOUGH. There are days I LONG to be back in the classroom as a teacher…I LOVED my job in P1…I miss that identity, I miss that authority, I miss that recognition, that place in society. There are days I LONG to have a bit of extra cash, a little bit extra to be able to buy treats, to go on holiday, to go out for dinner just because, to not have to serve up a £1 pizza for dinner because that’s all that is left in the food budget this month. There are days I LONG for some me time, some adult conversation, a chance to sit quietly and enjoy lunch.
But, then I look at J, S and L and I smile and thank God that this is where He has called me to be. I smile that I have not missed one thing. I smile that people comment on how happy they are, how well-behaved they are, how pleasant they are, how they are in such a good routine….I thank God for that.
I think about the fact that on Tuesday Jonah will begin his education…that he has been at home with me every day for 3 years and 7 months… but that is it 3 YEARS AND 7 MONTHS….and now he is finding his independence!! How short that was and how blessed I am that I didn’t miss 1 day of that fleeting time. I will treasure that time forever and know that when I am older I will look back on those early years and be glad that I was at home. I feel extremely blessed and privileged to be a stay at home mum….not because I’m rich materially but because I’ve been made rich in so many other ways.
But, have we been brought up in a culture which has given us a warped thought on what it is to be a “woman”?? Has society quietly, subtly made us all “lovers of money”?? Is that too harsh?? Am I ‘lucky’ to be a stay at home mum? Are there others out there who would LOVE to be a stay at home mum but quite simply “just can’t”? Does the church not do enough to encourage young women today to think like Titus 2 and Proverbs 31? Or have ‘the times changed’? Or have we as a generation no other choice?
I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts……………..