So, I think I’ve decided that my late 20’s / early 30’s has been my toughest time yet. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not all annoyed at being in the “30’s club” or anything like that. I’m not feeling old or even that I’m getting old, I still kinda feel 19 in a strange way. It’s more – life right now is a bit tough. Rough. Stressful, ,maybe? Exhausting? I’m not really sure what word to use. But I just feel like life, in general is perhaps the hardest it has ever been. Mentally, I think, most of all. I guess for me, personally, a LOT has happened in the last 5 years – I’ve spent 2 months in Uganda, got engaged, then married (14 weeks later!!), moved house 4 times, got a promotion at work, resigned from work and had 3 babies!!! That’s a lot, right?!
Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the hubster with all my heart. I adore my kiddies. But things are hard. I feel guilty / exhausted /overwhelmed/ confused/ silly / anxious/ stressed at some point every day. There are days I think to myself, I don’t know how to be a mummy, how to be a wife, how to be a friend, a daughter, a sister, a neighbour, a Christian. I don’t know how to balance all that. I don’t know what a mummy of 3 kids is meant to be able to do – should I be able to do the weekly shop, with them in tow? Should I be able to make it out to church every Sunday? Should I be able to have all the ironing, washing done? Should my house be lovely and clean and tidy all the time? Should I be able to cook delicious, homemade dinners every night? Should we able to go to a restaurant and all be able to enjoy it with no meltdowns? Should my kids be at ballet / football / dance / gymnastics? Should we be going on a family day trip every week and again all enjoying it – smile everyone!! Where are these pressures coming from? Am I placing them on myself? Does anyone else feel the same?
Things in your 30’s just seem hard. Careers are just getting established. Money, well, what even is that?! It seems to be in short supply. Health – our bodies just don’t seem to be the same anymore, we’re starting to get diagnosed with ‘certain’ conditions. Our kids health – sometimes it feels like you just roll from one illness to the next with young kids. Friendships change. Lifestyle changes. YOU have to be the responsible one now. Yet, I’m not sure at 32, I really know how to manage/balance all these ‘new’ things. A lot of changes happen in your late 20’s / 30’s….married life, getting a mortgage, having kids, climbing the career ladder, some people though do feel like they are ‘in their prime’…….
This post may be a little like therapy for me and all you guys are the lucky ones who get to listen 😉 Sorry about that. But I just need to be honest. I kinda blame Facebook / Pinterest / Instagram for some of it. I do believe that’s where some of the pressures come from. I tell myself, CATCH. A. GRIP. You are 32, who cares if the rest of the world live in fabulous houses with perfect kids and they craft and bake and wear designer brands, with perfectly groomed hair and freshly applied make up all day?! AND they do it all with a smile on their face, while kissing and cuddling and basically skipping their way through life!
Life is just not picture perfect all the time. People don’t post pictures of real life – no one wants to share that.
So, if you’re sitting somewhere reading this, feeling a little overwhelmed / stressed / guilty or just utterly exhausted – I hear ya. I feel like that too.
I can’t wait ’til I’m 40. A LOT of folk have told me they’re a great decade 😉 Here’s hoping anyway!
P.S. I feel like I need to add a tag line – please no one panic – I am doing ok. I genuinely LOVE my life. Just sometimes, it’s a little tough being 32 xxx