Daily Routine · Family life · Fashion

Some things never change.

Growing up is a funny old thing isn’t it? Some things don’t bother you the way that they used to, some things that didn’t bother you before, now do, and then some things are still the same…things that bothered and niggled away when you were 8, 10, 15, 18 still bother and niggle away at you at 32 (almost 33!!).  And for me one of those things is confidence. Deep down I’m really not that confident a person. Sure, I can appear strong and assured on the outside, but inside I am nervous and shy and probably dying off about something!

And last Thursday evening I was reminded that that is my reality.

I had been invited along to the relaunch of Argento in Belfast. I love jewellery and I do love a wee bit of socialising, so I was looking forward to the evening. I headed off quite excited about seeing the new shop and picking out some pieces to add to my birthday and Christmas wish lists. And the new shop did not disappoint. It was/is really stunning. A gorgeous, spacious layout with so much jewellery to look at and drool over. If you are looking for a present for someone, I really would encourage you to pay a little visit, you are sure to pick up something – so many beautiful pieces to choose from.

Karen Bovis's photo.

We were treated to lovely cocktails and macaroons and Argento very kindly gifted everyone who was there a piece of jewellery. But, I missed out. Why? Because I totally freaked out and left after the first 30minutes!! I know, what?? Why?? And to be honest I don’t really know. I don’t know whether I was completely overwhelmed at the situation – there was lots of press, local celebs, other, much ‘bigger’ bloggers there, everyone looked stunning, everyone seemed to know each other, and I just couldn’t cope.

I just felt so awkward and insecure and thinking, why am I here?! I have no right to be here. People are probably thinking the same thing, “why is she here?” I had zero confidence in myself and so I left.

And as I sat in Starbucks with my Pumpkin Spice latte ( every cloud…!) I thought to myself – Karen, you are a grown woman for goodness sake! But I couldn’t help it. Sometimes things just get the better of you and you just feel completely insignificant. Not as good as others around you. Not as pretty, successful, sociable, and the list could go on…..

I realised then that you know, like it or not, some things just never change. The little shy, timid girl, who hardly spoke when she was 5 is still in there today. And while I can tell myself to wise up, catch a grip, to not worry about what other people think. I can’t help it. It’s just the way I am. And I’m learning, still learning, to be ok with that.

7 thoughts on “Some things never change.

  1. So powerful, and of course hits home with me too. I know there was someone who was proud of you anyway, when you walked in, and out, and when you were enjoying your cuppa too 😉 bummer about missing out on the jewellery. Love your blogs Xoxo

    Like

  2. I’m very confident, but oh my goodness am I shy. It’s just easier to tell people I have social anxiety, because no one can understand why someone as vibrant as I am can be shy – but it’s all I can do to walk into an unfamiliar place, especially by myself!! So, kudos to you for making it 30 minutes! Well done!!

    Like

  3. Thank you for this post!!

    Although i have in many ways grown to embrace my quiet self, i still face doubts when in public and i know i would have done the exact same thing in your situation! (Actually, being totally honest i probably wouldn’t have went in the first place!!)

    It takes all sorts of people to make the world go round, it’s not all about the forward, loud, confident people!!

    Like

  4. I think you were brilliant for going in the first place chick, and can totally understand that awkward feeling. I’m exactly the same in social situations! So glad to have you as my partner in crime though. Safety in numbers!! Beautifully written post xx

    Like

  5. I don’t think you should feel bad about this – that’s poor event planning on the part of whomever was behind it. If they see someone alone at an event like that, they need to make that person feel welcome and introduce them to others. A bad show on the part of the organisers – you should NEVER have felt like you had to leave. This really saddens me. PLEASE come talk to me if you see me at any of these events as I put on a good show of enjoying but I really don’t….not unless I can meet like minded lovely peeps like yourself. I missed this one and now I’m doubly sad that I did as I’d love to have met you. Ax

    Like

    1. Awh Avril, you’ve brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for such a lovely and encouraging comment. I have to take some of the responsibility myself as I really should have given the event more of a chance and just been bold enough to go and chat to people! I will try harder next time and will definitely come say hello! You’ll know it’s me – I’ll be bright red, sweating and swallowing lots as I say hi 😉 Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a lovely comment x

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s