I was looking back over this little space of mine just the other night, and came across so many posts with memories that I had forgotten about. There are many, many times when I think about just stopping. But then, it’s moments that are captured, that might otherwise be forgotten that make me keep going.
So, with that in mind I wanted to record some memories of this pregnancy. This pregnancy has been such a mix of emotions and feelings, so much more so than any of the others. It was a very much longed for pregnancy, and when those little lines appeared on that test on my birthday I was over the moon! But, not long after I’d soared over said moon, the feelings of worry and anxiety came – what if this little one doesn’t make it, what if something goes wrong….
And the first 12 weeks continued to be that rollercoaster. Moments of pure joy and excitement, with moments of pure fear and angst. Also, this time around, I experienced nausea like never before! I know, I know, in the grand scheme of things it was nothing, but honestly at the time, it. was. horrendous. It hit at around 8 weeks…lasted all day, peaking at around 4pm and stayed with me until 17 weeks. I never actually boked – some days I really wished I could as I thought it might bring some relief, but it never happened. The nausea left me as quickly as it had hit me, but was replaced with fainting. Now, I am a fainter by occupation….if I get too warm I faint, if I get too hungry I faint, if I visit someone in hospital I faint, if I stand too long in the one place I faint. So, yeah I am a fainter. But normally I know it’s coming, I have learnt to avoid going right down and hitting the decks. But for a few weeks – the faints came thick and fast. Once in church – ohhhhh the embarrassment. Apparently it was due to low blood pressure and the midwives assured me that it was very common in this stage of pregnancy and would probably ease up a bit when baby moved up out of my pelvis.
And, she was right. About a month of that carry on and then it stopped.
Reaching 20 weeks was magical! Baby had got the ‘blooming stage’ memo and I was starting to feel somewhat normal again. We had our 20 week scan – which was AMAZING. Honestly the photos that we got were unbelievable. Baby was completely crazy though and just would not stay still – at one stage, they actually disappeared off the screen. The lady was about to take a measurement when ‘whoosh’…and she exclaimed, “oh my, where’d they go??!’ It was just great to get to see our little one and to get some assurance that all was going well.
I am now 27 weeks and cannot believe it! Where has the time gone?! Unfortunately, in the past couple of weeks a kind of pregnancy insomnia thing has kicked in and with the lack of sleep, it seems to have triggered my panic attacks….not cool. Thankfully, at the moment, I am able to manage them. But it is a horrible thing. There was a night when I thought I was losing my mind! And I want to urge anyone out there, if you ‘get’ what I am talking about, please don’t keep it to yourself….tell someone how you are feeling, share it with someone else, reach out – it does help.
So, yes here we are at 27 weeks. Baby is still a crazy cat and is constantly on the go. It’s funny, my other 3 used to just do kicks and punches and wee pokes- this one feels like it is throwing itself around in there. I feel like it is doing somersaults or throwing itself against the sides of my tummy and then laughing hysterically as it’s falls onto a soft cushion! You know the way kids do on a bouncy castle??! I am really enjoying it’s moves though – gives me a wee connection with them already, as I laugh and chat to them about how much of a rocket they already are!
J, S and L are LOVING the bump. After dinner they all put their little hands on bump and wait for the party to begin. They have been chatting to him/her, telling them stories and singing them nursery rhymes. They are all very curious about whether it’s going to be a brother / sister – they have no real preference, but just want to know.
Here’s some photos of the growing bump! I am definitely a lot bigger at this stage than with any of the others – I guess things are a little looser!!!