Family life · Uncategorized

Live for today.

Whilst PICU was hell, and I mean hell, there was undoubtedly purpose in it. It was a significant part of both ours and Elijah’s journey.  There were days when I was completely and utterly broken.  But it was on PICU that I realised every single day we have here, on this earth is a gift.  I learnt, rather ironically the real significance and importance of making memories in ALL the chaos of life.

It was following one of our worst days in PICU that I asked, “Can I take him to the zoo?” I will never forget the look on that nurses face – “THE ZOO?”

“Yes, the zoo, or just somewhere.  I want memories with Elijah that are outside of this hospital. I want J, S and L to say in years to come, Do you remember that day we went to the zoo with Elijah?” At this point, (early September), we were thinking that he wasn’t going to make it through the next 48 hours, so, on reflection I can see how completely ridiculous this sounded. But I just could not bear the thought that this was going to be our last days, our last memories.

She replied with such sincerity, “I’m really not sure that that will be possible.”

“Is there someone we can pay to come with us?” I asked. She went to get the Sister in charge, who bless her said, “there’s no one you can pay, but I will come myself if I can get the day off. But the problem is I don’t think Elijah will be well enough.”

I prayed so much that God would make a way for us to make memories with our boy.  That this would not be the end.  That somehow we could get a family day trip.

Well, as I said in the previous post, Elijah made miraculous improvement in PICU and we made it back to Clark Clinic.  But it was through all of this that we learnt to SEIZE THE DAY.  And what followed was 7 weeks of memory making….of fun family times…of deeper and deeper in love with our wee man…..of believing that God had a plan…..of seeing Elijah embrace life in all its fullest….of seeing Elijah enjoy life….watching him adore his brothers and sister….seeing his little personality shine through.  And boy did we have fun.  Praise God that he heard that mothers prayer and answered it with more than I could have ever imagined.

I want to share with you some photos of that time, as I think they say it best. Throughout those 7 weeks we had days when we had to just stay on the ward as Elijah was too sick to ‘go off site’, but when he was having a good day we made the most of it!!

Reunited after PICU……..


Some days Elijah and I dandered over to the Boucher Road for a wee Starbucks and retail therapy!


We enjoyed a few days out to local parks…..


A highlight was definitely bringing him to meet our church family and have him dedicated!


We enjoyed fun times on the ward…..


We even went swimming!!


We had a special day out celebrating my birthday. The nurse had got him all dressed up in his knit wear – check him out in his wee v neck tank top! But then he had a poonami and we had to opt for a babygro!


And we tried so many times to get home for good! But, alas there was always a reason to stop us staying home for too long.


But, on Sunday 6th November we finally got discharged from hospital. We were going home! It was amazing.  We were all so excited. We celebrated with a Chinese and watched Strictly. I remember that night so well. Finally I was doing something that I had longed for since finding out I was pregnant – Ben and I were on the sofa, my baby boy was fast asleep on my chest, his wee head snuggled in under my chin.  My other 3 were tucked up in bed fast asleep and excited to have breakfast with Elijah. Life was good – maybe dreams do come true.



However, 6 days later we said goodbye to our darling son Elijah. It was time for him to go home to his Heavenly Father.  Elijah’s little body was tired.  His job here was done.  He peacefully passed from our arms into His Heavenly Fathers.


2 thoughts on “Live for today.

  1. I would like to express my deepest condolences for your loss. I wish there was something I could do or say that could take the pain away, but I know that is impossible. I have been following your story with a mix of hope and apprehension. I am happy that little Elijah was given a chance to fight for his life. That he was able to spend some quality time with a family who obviously loved him so much. That he was allowed time to feel the love of God. Thoughts and prayers.


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