Uncategorized

Life goes on …. or does it

It’s funny – I have sat down to write a post on here so many times in the past 4 weeks. But yet, I have never actually had the guts to write anything. I sit and I think and I want to write, but yet I feel scared to – I think it’s ‘scared’ to,… Continue reading Life goes on …. or does it

Uncategorized

Beautifully painful.

There’s something so beautiful about this drawing. Yet also something so beautifully sad. It captures us just perfectly. It says more than words ever could. I can’t seem to find sentences …. simply words. mother son love joy selfless pure bond innocent deep strong pain loss poignant sadness treasured An image can be so powerful.… Continue reading Beautifully painful.

Uncategorized

Recharged ….

Life now seems to be divided into – ‘before Elijah’ and ‘after Elijah’. I find myself placing the time of events in relation to whether that happened, before Elijah was here, or after. When I describe changes that I notice in myself, it seems I use terms like, ‘Before Elijah, I would have been much… Continue reading Recharged ….

Uncategorized

A wave

A wave has come over me. Just right now. Out of nowhere. And it has me sucked right under. I didn’t see it coming. There was no build up to it. No warning. But it just knocked the legs clean from underneath me. And I’m drowning.  Totally drowning. So I’m writing. I have no direction… Continue reading A wave

Uncategorized

I will be fierce ….. maybe!!

So. Another year is over and a new one begins. I say that with a sigh and a tear and just a hint of joy if I’m completely honest.  1st January 2017 nearly killed me, and well, 1st January 2018 has only been slightly less painful. Whilst a new year can and does fill  me… Continue reading I will be fierce ….. maybe!!

Family life · Uncategorized

It’s been a year …..

It’s been one whole year since I held you in my arms. One whole year since I kissed those chubby cheeks, blew raspberries on those double chins, rubbed that little soft fur head and held that tiny hand. One whole year. In many ways it’s hard to believe that it has been a year already,… Continue reading It’s been a year …..

Family life · Uncategorized

We will ‘keep on living’.

One phrase that has bothered me a lot over the past year is the one – ‘moving on’. Now, no one has ever said it to me …. yet. I guess though we are only 10 months down this road of grief. But still, it bothers me. I dread the thought of someone ever saying… Continue reading We will ‘keep on living’.